Relationships are a complex and wonderful part of each individual’s life. Relationships provide many positive attributes, such as love, friendship, support, partnership, connection, pleasure, comfort and spiritual bonding. However, at times, they can also be a source of distress, frustration and disappointment, dashed expectations, and can impact our lives significantly resulting in a state of less than perfect well-being.

Individuals in a relationship are often faced with issues that overwhelm, confront, and are at times difficult to cope with. The term most commonly expressed in relationship counselling relates to "fixing things" (the relationship) as if the relationship has a tangible presence and can be manipulated to rectify the core issues. Relationships that are not attend to and left to grow out of control can be destructive and result in a 'sudden conclusion'. This can lead to heightened sensitivity to psychological, physical and emotional distress.

If an individual finds himself/herself in a relationship with features that may be more negative than positive in nature it is critical that they seek support immediately and take control of the relationship concerns. This is where a trained counsellor may support and nurture the people of the relationship to find self-generated pathways to improve the status quo.

An important note to male members of the relationship. Society imposes an ideal image of what men should do, how they should think, act and feel when it comes to relationships. Many men do not know any other method of addressing a problem in a relationship and tend to dismiss the problem and hope it will go away. I can assure you it will not. It is imperative to seek counselling and work with your partner. Male counsellors are available if you feel more comfortable in working with one. The key take-away here is don't let the relationship 'slip' by putting your head in the sand.

Unfortunately many couples do not seek professional support until it is too late. Don't be a statistic!

What causes relationship problems?

The common problems that occur within poor relationships are:

1. Poor communications skills
2. Intimacy issues
3. Financial concerns
4. Extra martial affairs
5. Shifting or split in loyalties
6. Poor career/life balance
7. Equality (division of household chores etc...)
8. Individual differences and styles (around parenting)
9. Poor quality of time together
10. Major life intrusions (loss of family member, transition in career, immigration, emigration)

What happens in relationship counselling?

Relationship counselling typically involves both parties working together to support each other for the mutual benefit of relationship. This is achieved by employing any number of counselling techniques, from Cognitive Behavioural and Solution Focused Therapies, always with a solid base of Person Centred Therapy (respect, positive regard and emotional validation). Counsellors provide couples with essential tools to support positive thinking styles, increase intimacy and build resilience, whilst resolving differences.

However, it must be said that relationships may require a mediator and in times when the relationship is not able to be salvaged, a counsellor may act as an intermediary to provide an amicable separation pathway.

How can Positive Connections assist?

Positive Connections is a private professional practice that provides counselling services to individuals, couples and families in the cities of Casey and Cardinia. If you are currently experiencing problems within your relationship/s, or you know a family member or friend that requires a positive intervention, please call us, 9704 9500.

Together we can find a way.