Marriage counselling is an extension of relationship counselling, the elements are similar in many respects. The primary aim of marriage counselling is to foster and promote open and honest communication between couples. A critical element of success for marriage counselling to produce maximum results is to have both parties engaged in a positive and meaningful association to enable harmful patterns of behaviour to be changed, resentment to be overcome and trust to be restored.

Many marriages undergo a series of changes and challenges throughout the course of the marriage lifecylce; including the stress from having a family, financial pressures and worries, disagreements about parenting, differences in values and extended family concerns.

Culture may also play a very large part in the process. Many different cultures have differing customs and may require special consideration. The ability to work with the two individuals, the relationship (marriage), the cultural differences and other external factors, such as extended family, can make a counselling consultation seem quite crowded.

Problems with detrimental consequences, such as extra-marital affairs or reoccurring arguments, may not be able to be resolved. It is important to consider individual counselling to ensure individuals in this particular category are supported through such a life change.

Individual counselling can be undertaken within the couple’s marriage counselling and need not be an additional cost. You and your counsellor will know what is right within this process.

Marriage counselling can be a positive experience. Pre-marriage counselling is required in some cultures and relates to setting up the best possible scenario for couples to communicate, respect and generate a marriage that lasts. Learning communication strategies prior to adding the spiritual elements of marriage can avoid pitfalls and foster positive relationships.

What are some of the warning signs to look for?

1. Loss of loving feelings (one or both partners)
2. Unresolved arguments
3. Reoccurring arguments
4. Unhappiness (one or both partners)
5. The pursuit of separate lives (lack of togetherness)
6. Diminishing time spent together
7. Extra martial affair/s
8. Feelings of separation (one or both parties)
9. Threats of separation in arguments
10. Cultural differences

This list is not exhaustive and there may be other elements that may affect the marriage.

Couples may be reluctant to seek counselling the first time they experience problems, opting instead to wait long periods of time until they seek support. This can sometimes create a crisis that requires a full intervention, possibly at a tipping point, a place of no return.

By seeking counselling at an earlier stage with the identification of the concerns within the relationship, couples have an increased likelihood that matters may be resolved. The use of a counsellor in providing impartial support and navigation within the marriage may in fact assist the marriage in becoming stronger through the formation of new pathways.

Marriage counselling begins by looking and identifying the major concerns and addressing them immediately. During this stage much of the counsellor’s job is to facilitate, or in some cases mediate, the communication between parties. The creation and agreement of a list of concerns to be addressed, and a goal is generated. Following a commitment by both parties to the goal at hand strategies and education is employed to ensure that the goal is met and issues, if not resolved, are carefully considered and managed.

There are limitations to marriage counselling. Earlier the "tipping point", or point of no return, was mentioned. There are some marriages that unfortunately cannot be salvaged. If marriage counselling does not allow the individuals within the marriage to reconcile, counselling may be able to assist in the amicable separation and attainment of agreement between parties. Marriage counselling may support those individuals from a broken marriage to avoid pitfalls and previous barriers to a successful future relationship or marriage.

How can Positive Connections assist?

Positive Connections is a private professional practice that provides counselling services to individuals, couples and families in the cities of Casey and Cardinia. If you are currently experiencing problems within your marriage, or you know a family member or friend that requires a positive intervention, please call us, 9704 9500.

Together we can find a way.